Tall Femme: You Are On a Smoke Date, Dandelion! | Autostraddle

Contacting all Homoganjas! Let’s discuss everything cannabis linked, from legalization to put tradition to making a bong using a box of Diva cups and a broken light.

Whether you are a newbie who doesn’t know a blunt from a mutual, or perhaps you’re planning your gay dream wedding to Mary Jane, this line is for you. Puff, Puff, Pass.

Header by
Rory Midhani

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It is Friday evening. Or Monday night. Maybe it really is Tuesday mid-day. I don’t know your life. But that woman you have been swooning over is on the woman means over here. You are aware, the one who enables you to notice stresses of “better” in your mind if you glance at the lady? She’s coming more than for a hangout. And she is delivering an eighth of OG Kush. Time to placed on on a clean clothing and rinse that bong, because you’re on a smoke day, Dandelion!

Smoke times might have several advantages. Clearly, you are comfortable sufficient in one another’s company to participate in semi-illegal tasks with each other (unless you reside a modern condition and are a card-carrying healthcare cannabis user). Additionally, she doesn’t worry about spending long expanses of time along with you. There’s really no this type of thing as a “quick weed split.” Toking up is, by definition, a time-intensive procedure. There is the shameful small talk, initial spark up, the driving around on the products before they have been cashed away. Then you’ve the large alone, that’ll normally ground you for around an hour, based your strain/tolerance. Subsequently however, there’s the procurement of munchies, while the eating of mentioned munchies. Next probably another joint/blunt/bowl. We’re speaking an effective 4 or 5 episodes of

Futurama

here, thus get comfortable. This may get some time. But another human being really wants to invest much time along with you! High five!

Music

Initial, turn off the Bob Marley. This is not Freshman 12 months. Everybody knows just who shot the sheriff therefore the deputy as well. Only play something mellow when you look at the background or spin
Carmen’s mix for smoking
.

Explore

+ Cigarette. What you are actually puffing. In which you started using it. The method that you tend to be smoking it. What your tastes tend to be.

+ ANY SUCH THING pop society connected. Go ahead and expound on the theories of Leisha Hailey’s Yoplait commercial, the tragic termination of Bomb Girls, or exactly who the fuck A is. Since it is gotta be Aria, correct? What i’m saying is, seriously.

+ Conspiracy ideas! High folks are attracted to conspiracy concepts like moths to a dubious flame. Is actually neighborhood 51 an alien think tank? Would be the Illuminati running American Apparel? Tend to be Tegan and Sara Quin EQUIVALENT PERSON?

Try Not To Speak About

+ complex geopolitical problems. Can you really be articulate about the worldwide financial crisis when you are stumbling ovaries? If you do not’re an Aaron Sorkin figure, the clear answer isn’t any. It really got you twenty mins to determine how much cash to tip the pizza pie distribution man. Decrease your own roll.

+ upsetting personal stories. Its awesome that you want to open around this person. However now is not the most useful time. Major stories tend to be for sober moments, therefore wish their own full awareness of always’re in a safe room. Also, nobody wants to harsh their hype.

Suggested Watching

As Well Cute! Puppies

is actually a genuine reveal that prevails because America. It’s just pups caught. It’s generally exactly what takes on during my head on a consistent loop when I zone away. It is possibly the best thing that features ever existed actually.

Cartoons:

Simpsons

,

Futurama

,

Household Chap

,

Bob’s Burgers

,

Archer

(Pam!).

Youtube video clips of cats. SIMPLE ADEQUATE.

Honorable Mentions

The maximum Beyonce fan movie at this moment.

I like this video clip such i do want to marry it. Needs it playing inside the shipment room as I birth my personal young ones. I want it playing on a set loop to my tombstone like an eternal fire. This movie completes me.

The Only Real Party Trick Needed

Ah, committed honored custom of shotgunning aka the blow right back. It’s foolish, it’s hot plus it will get orally in extremely near distance to the woman mouth area. Shotgunning is actually a gateway medication to creating around. Your standard shotgun is when Person A inhales and breathes the smoking into individual B’s throat. Quite quick.

Now for the higher level cigarette smokers personals {A|thea takes the shared (CAUTION: this merely works together a combined!) and leaves the illuminated end in their particular throat. Person B next sucks on the other end while Person A blows. It has the result of producing individual the seem like a fearless, fire-swallowing badass. Just don’t eat the using up conclusion, children. Many of us learned that the tough way.

And Finally

Be sure to remain secure and safe. Smoke within your limitations. Never pressure the date or feel pressured to smoke cigarettes significantly more than you wish to. Cannabis permission is actually hot. And make certain we have all a secure journey home and a soft place to freeze. Because stoned cuddles? Top variety of cuddles.